Whose kingdom are you building?

I have been thinking about this post for awhile now. Since I am not a great writer, I hope I can do it justice!

I can remember the day Brad brought me to this house to get my approval on him buying it. We were 19, engaged, and ready to start our lives together. I remember how much I disliked the house. It was too white, from floor to ceiling. It was not big enough or fancy enough. The yard was too small and close to the railroad tracks. Neighbors were too close. Nothing about it was good. But it was a property his great uncle had built just a few years prior and had been renting. He was willing to sell it to us basically out-right (not making a profit) just to get rid of it and not rent anymore. That was perfect for afore mentioned 19 year olds!

Before long we were celebrating our first Christmas in this house. And in about 7 weeks, we will be celebrating our 12th Christmas in the same livingroom.

I spent many years disliking this house. Focusing on all the things I wish we had. We were always talking about moving.

Then, probably 5 years into our time here, a former pastor of our church (not my dad) preached on building God's Kingdom. I went away feeling very convicted that I had been spending way too much time focusing on building my kingdom and not God's Kingdom. Why are we on this earth, anyway? Is it to see who can accumulate the most "stuff?" Is it to always want or need the next best things? Is it constantly wanting more? I think we all know the answer is NO! Do I even need to add: not that having things is wrong.

If we are Christians, we are here to build God's Kingdom. Our job here is heavenly. Being the hands and feet of Jesus, bringing lost souls to God, serving in His church, taking the time to raise Godly children who will follow in the building of God's kingdom.

Once I re-focused my life, different things became important to me. The negative things about our house and life became less of a problem. Moving was no longer at the top of our list. It became 'What can I do for God while he has me here?' Instead of 'how can we get away from here?'

In the past few years, our house has become a gathering place for all the neighbor kids. They have become my burden. I am convinced that they are the reason I am here.

When Brad told me he wanted to try to sell the house for a job opportunity in NC, I was very hesitant. I started thinking who will take these kids to church if I'm not here? Who will tell them that even tho their parents are in jail or just not in their lives that someone loves them and will never leave them? Who will tell them that there is hope and they can be happy. I know that God will replace us if he wants us in NC. After 3 months of not a single showing, I'm starting to think more than ever that we are where God wants us. That is very hard to hear when you want to hear something else.

We don't have to be contemplating major life changing decisions to need a re-boot. I think as moms, wives and working women we also can get into the rut of what is my real purpose here? Is this all my life is about; making meals and doing laundry, running errands and being a servant to the family? No! Our life should be all about building the kingdom of God! Yes, that includes taking care of our families and being Godly wives, mothers and workers.

So I want to ask you, whose kingdom are you building? What have you done for God lately? I hope you are focusing on God's Kingdom. It is something I have to work on every day.

From one extreme to the next

If you will remember, several years ago, Hannah went thru a very rough patch at school. She was diagnosed with ADD and ultimately we decided to make her repeat 2nd grade, even tho her teacher said she could go on. One of her main problems was her teacher. I stand by that opinion. She never came to me with any problems. I really had to pray about forgiving her and maybe myself for not seeing the issue. It was very hard. I learned 2 things from my mistakes with Hannah (mistakes have to made with one of them, right?!): Don't be afraid to speak your mind and don't wait for the teacher to make the first move.

Well, now 18 months later, we going thru a similar situation with Ryan, yet totally different! At the very first parent/teacher conference, a month into the school year, Ryan's teacher had several complaints about him not listening or following instructions (boy), making lots of noises at his desk(boy, and way to release his energy), getting off track(boy and friends)-just to name a few. She had mentioned wanting to have him tested for focusing issues a few days prior to our meeting so when I went to the P/T conf, I was ready for battle! Maybe not battle, but I prepared to state my case. Long story short, she set up a meeting with the team that works on those cases at the school.

I talked to RYan's speech teacher a few days before the meeting (about speech but we are aquaintances so I asked her opinion) and she advised I go the meeting just to see what it was about, whether we start the process or not. So that meeting was this morning.

I basically told them I had been thru the process less than 2 years ago and I totally believe Hannah has some form of ADD (she is not on medication and doing pretty well this year) but Ryan is totally not like her. He is your typical 6 yr old boy who spends a lot of time sitting in a seat in a classroom with lots of distractions. SO the case is closed unless his grades start to drop or he becomes a real problem in the classroom.

2 years ago, I couldn't get Hannah's teacher to help and Ryan's teacher is going too far, I think! I guess I am glad that his teacher has been in constant communication with me and wants to be safe rather than let it go but I'm letting it go for now!

standing

I try to pray
But I have no words to say.
My heart is aching,
Feels like it's breaking.
The things I know for sure
Are the only things that matter anymore:
My love is deep,
Yours is deeper.
The mountain is steep,
The river is deep.
But No matter where I go,
Your glory I want to show.
You promise never to leave,
To your truth I cleave.


I have never been a poet or writer of any kind. While laying in bed, searching for the right words to say to God after an emotional day, the words above just came to me in a matter of 5 minutes. I grabbed my phone and just had to record them. Right now all I am doing is standing on the promises of God.