Sunday Shutdown...

Once again, the weekend had come and gone. I am thankful that the Lord saw fit to let me live a few more days. I know that I shouldn't be so attached to this world but I have to be selfish and ask that He keeps me around (and all of us, for that matter) to see my kids grow up for awhile longer. I want to experience everything with them; school, work, friends, salvation, jobs, marriage, kids. I want to be here to help them, guide them, love them, protect them. Sometimes I feel like I am being selfish to want to bring another baby into this evil world. I don't want to think about the hard times my kids are going to have to go thru but I know they are coming. The world is going farther and farther away from God. With all the rain and snow we have been having, Hannah and I were talking about how God promised to never flood the world again. I began explaining that he meant covering the entire world with water, not this localized flooding we have in our yard! But then I began thinking about how the next time it iwll be destroyed by fire. I didn't tell her that b/c I don't want to traumatize her! But I certainly don't want her being around for that either!! Anyway, sorry I've started out on such a sour note. That's just some of what I've been thinking about!

Brad is trying to convince me we need a puppy, not a baby! I have already said I don't want any more dogs for awhile after Sammy and Patch die. I need a break. Hannah wants to sell them away and get a puppy. Ryan doesn't want to get rid of them but he wants a puppy. We aren't seriously thinking about getting another dog, that's just one conversation we had this weekend.

I'm becoming pesimistic about our dream of selling this house any time soon. The properties we really like out Custard are priced too high for us with the plan we have to either build a house or get one of those modular homes that are built somewhere else and brought to you. (Kinda like a doublewide only better) They want $20,000 for the 5 acres. $35,000 for the 8 acres. The thing is that I want to get a house that Brad and I can live in forever. So that by the time he can retire, our house is paid for. Now, I know that all these things are according to God's will for us. I'm not saying, this is what I want and this is what will happen. We want God's will but I think we still need to plan ahead and prepare for our future. So our other thought is to get the property and a doublewide, which is cheaper but still nice enough to live in for several years and save money and build in a few years. Then we run into the whole thing of starting over with the house payments whenever we decide we can build. Also, a huge factor is selling our house! Nat and Cheryl really want to move back up and they are interested in our house, if they do end up moving. I'm not holding my breath on that but it would be the perfect senario for us both! Nat said he is going to be calling the bank this week to see what they can get approved for. Or we can just stay here for several more years, which is seeming like the best thing to do.

I'm just feeling kinda bummed tonight, if you can't tell. I really want God to, just once, say in an audible voice exactly what he wants us to do. Something, anything to point us in the right direction. But since that isn't likely to happen, we'll just keep on praying, keep on working, keep on truckin and when one door shuts, we'll try another door. Thanks for listening to me tonight!