Offically offical

Well, I have debated for a long time about writing this post. I want it to be out there but never knew the right way to go about it and didn't want to be judged by all my home school friends who read this. Now that the school year is basically over and things are official, I guess it is time to get it out! We have requested that Hannah repeat 2nd grade next year. She had a very hard year this year. I am blaming a lot of it on her teacher but I also know that I should have initiated more communication with her. After we put her on ADD medication (after thorough testing) she made a remarkable turn-around in her ability to focus and get her work done. Her grades didn't improve much but her ability to work made great strides. For the first half of the year we didn't know what was going on. Once we found out she was spending half an hour of extra time working on her papers every day and still hardly getting her name wrote on her paper, we decided we had to do something about it. She was loosing recess everyday and the work was just piling up, therefore she was getting horrible grades. Homework took us hours and included lots of crying from her and I. All she would say was, "I can't." For the first 5 months we thought she just wasnt' trying. After further questioning and proding from her dr we found out she really couldn't! Her mind was constantly racing and she just couldn't get anything down on paper. I felt like a horrible mother for not knowing something was wrong. I was against medication at first but realized quickly that there was no other answer for her. Her teacher obviously wasn't going to change anything to help her, Hannah was already going to special classes to get one on one help from other teachers and there just wasn't anything else to do for her except let her fail or try the meds. Praise the Lord she didn't have any reactions and they didn't make her a zombie or anything crazy like you hear. It has been the best thing for her. She never has homework bc she finishes in class. Like I said, her grades didn't improve that much and she is still a slow reader. That is why we decided it would do more harm than good to send her on to third grade. I had the final meeting earlier this week with the principal and her teacher. Her teacher said that in 30 yrs of teaching she has never had one parent request to have a child held back. I believe that bc it was such a hard choice! I was undecided for a long time. I was in earnest prayer about it for probably a month. I never felt the Lord telling me what was right. I talked to other teachers and parents and even got advice from my parents! Brad and I talked about it more than once. He really wanted her to go on. I didn't but went with his final decision since he is the leader of the house and I know he had been praying about it as well. I just kept asking God why He wasn't telling me what was best. So I sent the note to school saying she could go on. I knew while I was writing it that it was the wrong choice. For a week I fought with myself about it. And then suddenly I knew God had been telling me what we should do just through my gut feelings and insticts as Hannah's mother. I said to Brad, "I have to change my mind. Going on is the wrong choice." He wasn't mad or anything. I think secretly he knew it was the right choice also. You don't know the feeling I had after our meeting was over the decision was offically offical. =) It was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. A burden gone. I learned to trust my instinct as a way God talks to me. Of course, I don't think every time I have a feeling, it is God saying something to me. My gut can still be wrong but in this case I don't think it is!!